Broken Hearts Are For Assholes

No, no...

This isn't gossip

It's the truth

 

Hey! Do you know what you are?

You're an asshole!

An ASSHOLE!

Some of you might not agree

'Cause you probably likes a lot of misery

But think a while and you will see...

Broken hearts are for assholes

Broken hearts are for assholes

Are you an asshole?

Broken hearts are for assholes

Are you an asshole too?

Whatcha gonna do, 'cause you're an asshole.. .

Maybe you think you're a lonely guy

Maybe you think you're too tough to cry

So you went to The Grape,

Just to give it a try

And Dagmar

Without a doubt, the ugliest sonofabitch I ever saw in my life

Was his name...

One Two Three Four!

The whiskers sticking out from underneath of his

Pancake make-up

And yet he was a beautiful lady

Nearly drove you insane

Let's talk about Leather: LEATHERRRRRR

And so you kissed a little sailor

Òåõ Abel, starring in the latest Shepperton Production:

Who had just blew in from Spain

"Sir Richard Pump-A-Loaf"

You sniffed the reeking buns of Angel

The story of a demented bread-boffer

And acted like it was cocaine

Cucumber pud annexed to a fine whole-wheat loaf

You were dazzled by the exciting new costume of Ko-Ko

Then on Tuesday night,

Ceasar's back in town

In a way you can't explain

Facing off in a no-holds-barred tag team grudge match With Kona.. .

And so you worked the wall with Michael

Three-hundred-seventy-nine pounds of Samoan dynamite

Which gave your back an awful strain

Volcanic Hell

But you came back on Sunday for the gong show

Next Thursday, teen town's finest

But you forgot what I was sayin'

'Cause you're an asshole,

You're an asshole

That's right

You're an asshole, you're an asshole

Yes, yes

You're an asshole, you're an asshole

That's right

You're an asshole, you're an asshole

Now you been to The Grape 'n' you been to

The Chest 'N' now I think you know what you are: you're an asshole

You say you can't live with what you've been through

Well, ladies you can be an asshole too

You might pretend you ain't got one on the bottom of you

But don't fool yerself girl

It's lookin' at you

Don't fool yerself girl

It's winkin'at you

Don't fool yerself girl

It's blinkin' at you

That's why I say

I'm gonna ram it, ram it, ram it

Ram it up yer poop chute

Corn hole

Ram it, ram it, ram it

Ram it up yer poop chute

Fist fuck

Ram it, ram it, ram it

Ram it up yer poop chute

Wrist-watch: Crisco

Ram it, ram it, ram it

Ram it up yer poop chute

Pud!

Don't fool yerself, girl,

It's goin' right up yer poop chute

Don't fool yerself, girl,

It's goin' right up yer poop chute

(etc., repeats)

Aw, I knew you'd be surprised